Just for the record, I’ve never had an official valentine. The only time I ever came close was back in the 5th grade when some mystery girl dropped off a nice bag of goodies at my doorstep with a nice note confessing her undying like for me.

I never found out who that girl was so for that reason I have never declared myself captivated with love and wonder on February 14th.

That being said, I am not in the least bit bitter about my lack of lovin’ and this post should not be seen as my effort to express frustration. This is just me telling a rather funny/unfortunate story.

‘Twas the night before Valentines Day and I found myself at a small get together with people I did not know (not a rare occurrence in my life). While at said get together I had noticed a fair young lady that I found to be rather intriguing.

Because I am a man and I wear pants on occasion, I made a decided effort to talk with this fair lady and woo her with my obvious wit and charm. My efforts were met with success as our conversation led to much laughter and dangerous amounts of smiling on her part.

After a few minutes of this she made mention that she had to leave for another get together which she was obliged to attend. Instead of letting her slip through my fingers I manned up and asked for her phone number so I could contact her and ask her on a date. That’s when things got a little sticky.

She smiled and told me that she had justed entered into an exclusive relationship with another fellow. I was surprised but that surprise turned to shock when she mentioned that said boyfriend was standing a mere five feet from where I was positioned.

Being the respectful person that I am, I acknowledged the boyfriend with a head nod with which he returned a smile.

As the couple made their exit I raised my glass(plastic cup) of hard liquor(diet 7up with antioxidants) to the air, said a few wise words and then drank.

For a second I contemplated my failure and thought about throwing in the towel for a while. This thinking was met with strong opposition because A) I need to continue being a pants-wearing man and B) even if I do fail, I have great material for my blog. It’s a win-win situation.